It’s hard to say this, but for years I wanted to die.
You probably wouldn’t have noticed as I was a determined little sod. I kept my tears (mostly) behind the toilet door and slapped a slightly grumpy smile on my face as I threw myself into work like I was bashing out my frustrations on a career and homework punch bag.
Secretly I was begging for the pain – which left me doubled over writhing and crawling up toilet walls – to end, and I simply didn’t care how.
I was desperate, fatigued, living in chronic pain, battered bruised and exhausted. I never considered suicide but when the pain had me screaming I would simply want it all to be over.
As a teenager I was often too tired to climb up my bunk bed ladders, at University I often slept in the…
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